i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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