My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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