Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
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Do I have a choice?
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It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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