i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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