im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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