Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
