D3 body, D1 cock
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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