i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
