this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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