Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
