He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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