sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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