"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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