Kiss
Puke
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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