"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Panties = found
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize