You really coming over, don't trick.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
