Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
