There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize