I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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