I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize