I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
