Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
