Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
