your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
