Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
