I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
