Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There's a naked man in my car right now.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
