Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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