I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
