Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize