My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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