Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
