Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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