what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
