so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
