Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
