sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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