Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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