me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
