omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
