I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
