Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
