dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
