A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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