you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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