with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We got so high we made milksteak
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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