since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize