it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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