he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
