just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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