Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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