finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize