I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize