dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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