I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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