if i can run in heels then i can drive
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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