You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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