if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im holly from the hills drunk
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
