so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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