So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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