I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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