Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
