I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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