We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
