pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
