My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Terrible idea I love it
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
