we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
