i just had sex bonerless
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
